17 years on the gear and five years on the white.now nearly five years clean.cos i got into gardening. initially it just took up all of my time and now propagation has become an obsession. keep up the good work monty

What a battle to keep clean eh Rachel. Cos i found that after two to three years at least the drugs had stopped coming into my head "smack attack" every day. I learn't that by getting busy immeadiately that i could make the thoughts go. I don't Ever think about the crap now except on down days when it still pops in and says "hello remember me??" I can make you forget about any hassle, but i can just disregard it now.It enforces the thought though that i have got to be aware of the severity of my class A history and can never afford to slip even once in my life again!! which i wont let happen at any cost. I've left the area where i was brought up, i will never go there again to see lifelong friends cos most of them are addicts and i'd be putting myself in what i call "my red zone" which i don't go in at all!!!! Heroin really did take my life from me,The town i grew up in!! Now though i don't know any one that takes drugs i'm self employed and generally doing good with a whole new life and new friends. It took me a good few years but i'm certainly there now and love pottering [and working!!] in the garden daily.

keep it up skinhead. it's hard mate(as you know only to well). i had to totally cut off my life from everything i'd known since school, friends, hometown, even now 5 years straight one of my brothers still wont speak to me(kills me mate) and it took 3 years for my other brother and sisters to even half believe that i was drug free(you know the score, they'd heard it that many times before over the years, only for me to go back on the brown again). i've had to treat it all like my life being on drugs since 16 is thrown away, and i'm still afraid that if i let anyone back in my life from all them years that i'd be back in there up to my eyeballs.
i've even had stories told to me by a friend that i bumped in wrexham that they where calling me all kinds at first(t**ser, hypocrite,etc) but got to ride over it all in my head, cos i know that by cutting all those friends(though i don't want to) off is the only way i can protect myself. i'm strong enough to resist the brown and white now but only cos i don't put myself in any trigger situations. you'll get there skinhead so keep it up .
frosty